Recently I was reading an article and the writer asked the question:  "What would you choose to do if you knew you couldn't fail?"

What a simple, yet fascinating question.

But here's the trouble...the question wasn't meant to comment on ("how fascinating!")...it was meant to provoke an answer.

And I had sincere trouble answering it.  First, there were all the "no-thought" answers that pop into your head...like "get rich" or "be my own boss" or
"go on a trip around the world"...but they really weren't my answer.  These were all borrowed from elsewhere along the way.

Then, when I pressed into the question, I realized what it was asking me: "What do you really want to DO with your life?"

That's when I got several insights...

1)  There are many things that I might want to do... all in the same lifetime...like become a hit songwriter, be a great dad, become a great singer, learn to invest
wisely, learn Spanish, travel...

2)  There is probably a "ONE thing" that lurks somewhere in my heart that eludes me.  Some really big goal that seems impossible, and therefore unspoken or even
unhoped-for.

3)  I'm a big fat chicken.

That last one is not a joke.  It was the biggest insight of all these.  I sadly concluded it after quite a bit of thinking work.


THE BIGGER, BETTER FEAR

Here's how the process went.  I sat down with that question to take it seriously.   "What DO you want?" Immediately I got distracted.  Away my mind ran.
Hey, come back here.  But my mind was going to have to get back to me.

Next day, I had some more time, so I sat down and tried again.  Boom!  There it went again...off to
the races with some other more fun thought.  "What in the world is going on here?" I wondered.

A day or two later, I tried again, only to find that my mind would NOT stay on the question.

That's when I suspected some sort of conspiracy. Except I was the only one involved.  So I gently asked myself, what was the big deal.  Why all the nervous
bolting for the door?  "Just answer the question,Mr. Cryar."

After some hemming and hawing, I recognized that I was hiding some sort of fear.  An unidentified fear at that point.  I then changed my focus to finding out
what the fear was.

What WAS I afraid of?  What could keep me from even answering the simple question... "What do you really want?"

After some wrestling, I eventually found it.  Once I figured it out, I began to think that certainly, I'm not the only one.  In fact, I don't think it's rare at
all.  I think it's just rarely faced.


WHAT is my new-found fear?

I am afraid of being disappointed.

Disappointed with my life, with my choices, with my career, with my next song, with my next vocal practice, with my next attempt at something larger than myself.
It's not the same thing as fear of failure.  It's fear of that dreaded FEELING.  The feeling of being disappointed.

I'm not saying this is an intelligent fear.  It's not like the fear that keeps you from going 159 mph on the interstate.  No, this is a strangely stupid fear...
one I'd like to be rid of.


FORENSICS

Not being satisfied, I knew I had to at least examine this a bit.  Then maybe you can wrestle with it, like me.

If you dig below the surface of this fear, you may find that it's actually a "fear of hoping."

My family has always been very careful to remind its children "don't get your hopes up." What an awful legacy!

In the midst of this revelation, I gathered my children and I told them "Go ahead and get your hopes up...way up...and if they don't get reached...learn to get them back up as soon as possible.
"  For some of my own children,
it will take time to let their hopes begin to flourish again.

For me--well, now all I have to do is reverse nearly 50 years of habit and learn to do the same myself.  If I can't learn to even dig into my own heart and admit
what I really want, I am truly doomed to end up disappointed!  This fear will eventually deal me just what it feared in the first place...ultimate "it's-too-late"
disappointment.

So WHY is this a VOCAL tip?

Because most of you, like me, have hopes of becoming a better (even a great) singer.  And the kind of fear I'm talking about will paralyze you on the way.  You will
be stuck in the "always talking about it--never doing it" loop.  You will be unable to even start if you are afraid to hope.


BEFORE HOPE GOT SICK

I was raised thinking that the best way to be happy was to expect less from life.  "Don't get your hopes up."

But somewhere around high school, I discovered music as a dream and very soon, it was just those "hopes" that got up and wouldn't stay down.  And sure enough, they
made for my best successes.  IF IT WEREN'T FOR THOSE HOPES, I WOULD NEVER HAVE TRIED HARD FOR ANYTHING.

At some point in the hubbub, I forgot that I could fail.  I forgot that it was foolish or dangerous to get your hopes up.  Thank God.

It was common knowledge that you couldn't just go get a record contract.  The doors were all closed to normal people like me.  That was for people with
"connections" or super talent.  (Funny how common knowledge hasn't changed.)

It was very well-known that publishing companies just didn't have time to listen to new songs. ("We do not accept Unsolicited Material.")

It was also well-established that you either could sing, or you couldn't.  There was no "learning" unless you were already very good at it.

But I accidentally fell into this foolish mental place where I had hopes--very real hopes--hopes that I WOULD indeed get signed to a record contract.  Hopes that told me I could get good enough if I worked hard.

My friends would ask me, "What are you going to do?" And I remember answering, "I don't know exactly, but I will be doing music for a living, and it's gonna be
great!"  The audacity!

But it was not completely unfounded.  I worked hard on both singing and writing.  I devoured every resource that might help me do it.  And it had paid off in small ways.  I had been getting good feedback from real audiences.  But I had NO contacts in the music
industry.  It would be impossible to make those contacts...so WHY was I hoping?
Foolishness, I guess.

I happened to go through Nashville, Tennessee, and play in a small coffeehouse with maybe 2 dozen people in the audience.  It seemed like a fun, but deadend gig.

Except that 2 separate people came up and asked me if they could take my recording project to their friends at 2 different publishing companies.  They were asking
me to GIVE them a free copy.  Should I do something that gave away the fact that I had hopes?

(I had worked my butt off to make that project a reality. Why would I just give copies away?)  I thought about it for about 1/2 second and gave them the copies.

Less than a week later, I had phone calls from both those publishers.  Within 3 months, I was signed to a record contract.  Once again, I was the bumble-bee that
didn't know he shouldn't fly.  Maybe just luck, you say?  

What would YOU do, if you knew you wouldn't fail?

Would you still do it if it required hard work and learning before succeeding?

Of course you would.

But you'd need hope.

Don't stop believing.

Editor's Note: Look up Psalm 27:13